Loopy London Weekend

Hotels

Unusual haunts

You can't get much more eccentric than rock'n'roll, and the Pavilion is most definitely a rock'n'roll hotel. It's long been a favourite of wild music-biz types but once upon a time it was the home of Napoleon's private surgeon!

Many of the rooms are themed and have names like "Honky Tonk Afro", "Better Red than Dead" and "Cosmic Girl". They are laden with weird and wonderful ornaments. If you don't fancy taking a cab into town, owner Danny Karne might just lend you his purple Lamborghini Diablo!

On the same side of the city is Miller's Residence. The Miller in question is Martin, a renowned antiques boffin - and you know what antiques boffins are like! As soon as you walk into this luxury 18th century abode, you feel like you've gatecrashed the home of a rich hermit.

The lavish rooms take the names of famous poets including Byron. Paintings of Venice decorate the room, in memory of the time when Byron, ever the eccentric, swam in the Grand Canal. One guest loves Miller's so much, he comes back again and again - and he only lives down the road!

Friday Night

Enjoy a wee drink

Enjoy some crocodile, chocolate-covered scorpion and a Pond Life cocktail to wash it all down, at the wacky Archipelago.Then head to Public Life on Commercial Street, a bar that used to be a public loo! There's nothing unsavoury about this bijou venue and the cool tunes being spun by the DJs. The drinks are cheap too.

Saturday Morning

Llama drama

Stop the press! There have been sightings of llamas in the Canary Wharf area…Yes, head for Mudchute Park and Farm and you can see llamas, along with cows, sheep and ducks, strutting their stuff in front of a backdrop of skyscrapers. Surreal.

Then take a quick trip to the United States. There's a statue of former US President George Washington on the eastern side of the National Gallery - a present from the state of Virginia. Because Washington vowed never to set foot on English soil again, the soil he's standing on was shipped over from America!

Saturday Afternoon

A quacking good time

Grab a takeaway from one of the umpteen vendors in Camden Town (nearest station Camden). London's answer to Amsterdam, the area is brimming with people with an "individual" sense of style, and you could easily while away a couple of hours admiring the wacky piercings and tattoos.

Experience London as you never have before, aboard an amphibious London Duck Tour - basically a bus that plunges into the Thames! Then discover how doctors used to inflict pain on their patients in the days before anaesthetics at the Old Operating Theatre Museum.

Saturday Night

Blind date

If you sometimes feel left in the dark by what chefs put in their recipes, wait till you get to Dans Le Noir?, where you have to eat in total darkness! The idea is meant to "awaken and train your senses". And that's all very well if you don't miss your mouth with your fork. If you can find your way to the exit, join the caravan of love at the "retro-sexual" (their words, not ours) Trailer Happiness on Portobello Road. If you lived in a static home in the 1970s, you'll feel right at home.

There's nowt so queer as folk, the saying goes, and that's most definitely the case at the transgender-tastic Way Out Club. Enter if you dare!

Sunday Morning

Fungus to pharaohs

Enjoy a spot of breakfast in the uniquely quaint surroundings of Patisserie Valerie in Soho. It attracts a varied and interesting clientele including the odd celeb. You're sure to find something tempting on the menu here - perhaps an English fry-up or a speciality custard doughnut.

Spend the rest of the morning exploring the eclectic delights of Sir John Soane's Museum. See a giant Sumatran sponge, the sarcophagus of a famous pharaoh, stone fragments from the 14th century House of Lords and other strange miscellanies galore!

Sunday Afternoon

Hot and cold

If you think one Indian restaurant's as good as the next, you obviously haven't been to the aptly named Chor Bizarre, which ships its furniture all the way from Delhi. No two sets of tables and chairs are the same.

After all that hot grub, cool yourself down in the most unexpected fashion - by climbing the 8m-high ice wall at the Ellis Brigham store.

Finally, scratch your head at the weird and wonderful musical instruments from around the world at the Horniman Museum. This unusual smaller museum is packed with fascinating exhibits from around the world.